What a year!…

I can’t quite believe it has been a year today myself & my partner finally got the news we were hoping for… I was pregnant!! 

I came off my pill at Christmas time and at that point we were very casual about the whole thing… ‘It will happen when it happens’ there is no rush… 

We decided not to tell anyone we were trying for a baby. Firstly, it would have been added pressure but more importantly I knew if we could keep it a secret it would be the most amazing surprise for everyone. I think it is fair to say no family members were expecting it at all! Although it was extremely hard for me to keep it especially from my Mum & Sister who I tell everything too! I just knew when I finally told them the news they would be double as excited!!! There were so many times I very nearly told my Mum and had to bite my tongue! So, as it was our little (actually big) secret I had to read up on all things pregnancy privately. I bought myself some folic acid and that was that. It will happen when it does.

As time went on we realised just how much we wanted it to happen! I got to the point where every little niggle or change in my body I would get excited! – although I never did any pregnancy tests as deep down I knew it wasn’t time.

We went away on holiday to Spain on 4th May for a week. I distinctly remember on one of the last few days putting my bikini on and nearly ending in tears with the pain from the bikini top touching my boobs!! I had never felt anything like it and although I had kept telling myself for the last 4/5 months not to get my hopes up this time around I just knew something wasn’t quite right. I couldn’t rely on my periods as since coming off the pill they were so irregular but usually came around every 6 weeks. Upon arriving home from Spain I didn’t really have any other symptoms so brushed the boob incident off! Until a week later (19th may) when I was sat at my desk at work having the worse period pains all morning thinking ‘Great! Another month gone by still no pregnancy’ but after having these pains all day and still no period arriving and the boob incident in Spain something just told me to get a pregnancy test on the way home to be sure!  

Once I got home from work my partner was walking the dog (I’m not sure why as I always walk the dog!!) and I remember thinking maybe I should just do it while he’s out as I’m probably just getting my hopes up and it will just get his hopes up too! But something in the back of my mind was telling me I had to wait for him – A wait that felt like a lifetime!! Once he got home I couldn’t wait any longer and just blurted out “I have had pains all day and no period and something is just telling me to do a test so Iv got one!!” After that outburst of I went to pee on the stick! I came straight back out and sat with him while we waited again a wait that seemed like a lifetime and neither of us really expecting a positive result either. I couldn’t look so my partner did and just so casually said “it’s positive” it was so casual I really didn’t believe him until I looked for myself. Wow the amount of emotions all felt at once! Excitement, nervousness I felt like throwing up!! 

Telling our friends and family the news was so exciting!! We originally said we would wait for the 3 month mark but of course that never happened and excitement took over! Looking back now, I am glad we did! The first few months of the pregnancy I needed my Mum’s support although my partner was so supportive too! We had a few scares with bleeding and then a test result came back with a high chance the baby might have Down’s Syndrome. All obstacles we would have and did deal with the best we could.

Once those first few months were out the way and the bleeding had all stopped I really started to enjoy every minute of my pregnancy. I felt so lucky every single day (even those days I had my head down the toilet!) I just loved every minute of being pregnant. – Who wouldn’t love an excuse to eat what you want when you want! Everything went well minus the lack of midwife support I had! – Thank god for apps and books! I got to eat ginger biscuits like ALL the time, I enjoyed pregnancy yoga, I got to take up nearly a whole bed with a pregnancy pillow and my bump, I got thrown the best baby shower ever! But most of all, I had my little boy growing inside me and we were living this new journey together.

The past year has been an absolute blessing that I am forever grateful for. I feel like the luckiest girl alive to have my beautiful son Spencer and my amazing partner and of course the dog too! We are very lucky to have what we do and I cannot wait to see what is in store for us over the next year! 

(2 days after the below photo was taken Spencer was born!)

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