It’s funny, despite the NEED for a glass of wine in the evenings, being in bed shattered by 8pm and not really having a social life anymore..9 months down the line I still don’t feel like a Mum. No matter how many times I hear people call me Mummy when talking to Spencer, it just hasn’t quite sunk in yet that person they are referring to is me!
This was until last night…
Last night I put Spencer to bed as usual and off he went to sleep without really kicking up much of a fuss. However, during my x-factor and prosecco time I started to hear Spencer fidgeting on the baby monitor followed by eventually a full on cry. Something which never happens at night anymore so I knew there must have been a reason for it!
‘Scary Mummy’s intuition moment’ – I said to Daddy maybe he has a pooey nappy he didn’t have his usual lunchtime poo! (Yup, it’s seriously sad when you know your babies poo schedule!!) and after that comment off I went to attend to my crying baby.
As I opened the nursery door it hit me like a smack to the face! Oh the smell!! I won’t go into too much detail but let’s just say I walked into a messy poo infested crime scene! I’m talking over all the sheets, his teddies even the cot bumpers! – Too much detail!? Ok il stop… So, I stripped Spencer’s (now brown) PJs off and dunked him straight into the bath… it really was that bad! In the meantime, Daddy was in charge of clearing the mess in the nursery up! Not sure who got the rawest deal.
So why has this horrid gross situation suddenly made me feel like a Mum!?…
Once the nursery was back to its original state (minus the smell) I put Spencer back into bed. It dawned on me once I lied him down just how pale he was looking and he gave me a look he’s never given me before. He was just staring at me with gorgeous blue almost puppy dog ‘don’t leave me Mummy’ eyes. Normally, I leave Spencer to fall asleep on his own. This look however, this ‘I need and want my Mummy’ look made me just want to stay with him all night!! I began stroking his baby soft, pale cheek while he just lay still giving me this look. I could have stood stroking my beautiful sons cheek all night! During this moment it made me realise I do not just stop and fully appreciate him enough. We have lots of fun and games but not enough cuddle time! It was as if time and everything around me just stopped and it was just me and my poorly son having a lovely bonding moment together.
And then this happened… As I decided to leave the room and let Spencer sleep he grabbed my hand and softly said ‘Mumum’… I know, it is all syllables at the moment and probably just coincidence at this moment in time he chose that syllable. But oh did it make a piece of my heart just melt! I instantly turned straight back and stood stroking his little cheek and just staring at my beautiful creation some more.
So it was this moment we shared together this true bonding moment that made me feel like a Mum for the very first time. I realised just how much my son needs his Mummy. During his poorly needy stage all he wanted to feel better was me..Mummy.
There really is no better feeling nor is there a stronger love and bond than a Mother & Sons.